I have been at war with my sinuses for almost a week now. The nostrils trade off, each enjoying a wonderful vacation from their very important task of allowing me to breathe. My lips are chapped. My throat is perpetually dry. Eating a meal without choking as I attempt to both breathe and chew at the same time has become an accomplishment.
However, for a few seconds today, the left nostril opened. Completely. I was able to take a handful of deep breaths for the first time in days. The tissue inside my nasal cavity, hidden beneath its armor of mucus for the last week, burned as the fresh air rushed past it. And then, of course, the nostril clogged right back up. For a few precious seconds, though, I was reminded just how much I take breathing for granted. I miss it.
But this moment has given me hope. Maybe tomorrow I will get more than a few precious seconds of unimpeded breathing. A girl can dream, right?
Friday, February 27, 2015
Saturday, February 21, 2015
My Gym
Not the one where I work out because that one doesn't exist. The one where my three year old goes to do "gymnastics" once a week.
The music is so loud the children have to shout to make their tiny voices heard. The walls are nauseatingly cheerful. Bright colors and smiling cartoon animals assault your eyes from every surface. For some reason, every animal is waving at you--except the fish, obviously excused from the creepy greeting due to his lack of arms. In an effort to compensate for the fins, his smile crosses the line from mirthy to maniacal, as if his mouth is trying to split his head in two. One can only assume the children think they're friendly and fun.
I'm convinced that, if I stayed here after they turned the lights out, the animals would reveal the weapons they're wielding in the hands hidden behind their backs. You know, the ones not waving.
Except the fish. He would use his huge mouth to swallow my face.
There's no way I could be here by myself, even if it wasn't dark. The laughter of phantom children probably echoes off the walls.
And don't even get me started on the multitudes of bare feet and booger fingers that have touched every bit of this place. The amount of cooties in here has to be epic.
But we'll be here again next Wednesday because the kid loves this damned germ factory.
The music is so loud the children have to shout to make their tiny voices heard. The walls are nauseatingly cheerful. Bright colors and smiling cartoon animals assault your eyes from every surface. For some reason, every animal is waving at you--except the fish, obviously excused from the creepy greeting due to his lack of arms. In an effort to compensate for the fins, his smile crosses the line from mirthy to maniacal, as if his mouth is trying to split his head in two. One can only assume the children think they're friendly and fun.
I'm convinced that, if I stayed here after they turned the lights out, the animals would reveal the weapons they're wielding in the hands hidden behind their backs. You know, the ones not waving.
Except the fish. He would use his huge mouth to swallow my face.
There's no way I could be here by myself, even if it wasn't dark. The laughter of phantom children probably echoes off the walls.
And don't even get me started on the multitudes of bare feet and booger fingers that have touched every bit of this place. The amount of cooties in here has to be epic.
But we'll be here again next Wednesday because the kid loves this damned germ factory.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
A Legacy of Friendship
There's something about the combination of good food and friends that makes life seem full. Even after spending five hours cooking today, I feel content. My feet are sore, and I'm exhausted, but it's so worth it to invite friends into your home and spend an evening watching your children play together.
My oldest, best friend and I have been through so many things: first days of school, slumber parties, losses of virginity, graduations, and now motherhood. It's truly been a blessing to share so many wonderful moments of my life with her. Even simple things, like a dinner at home, can be so rich. I'm so thankful that I have friends that, even after all these years, can make me laugh so hard my cheeks hurt.
Watching our children play on my living room floor, I couldn't help but wonder if our children will cherish these early days of play together as they nurture a life-long friendship of their own. It may not happen, but I truly hope it does. I feel like the only thing that could make my friendship more whole would be to see that camaraderie passed down to my child. An inheritance of friendship would be a lovely legacy. It might not be able to buy him his dinner, but I guarantee it will leave him feeling more full.
My oldest, best friend and I have been through so many things: first days of school, slumber parties, losses of virginity, graduations, and now motherhood. It's truly been a blessing to share so many wonderful moments of my life with her. Even simple things, like a dinner at home, can be so rich. I'm so thankful that I have friends that, even after all these years, can make me laugh so hard my cheeks hurt.
Watching our children play on my living room floor, I couldn't help but wonder if our children will cherish these early days of play together as they nurture a life-long friendship of their own. It may not happen, but I truly hope it does. I feel like the only thing that could make my friendship more whole would be to see that camaraderie passed down to my child. An inheritance of friendship would be a lovely legacy. It might not be able to buy him his dinner, but I guarantee it will leave him feeling more full.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Just write
I reached the halfway mark. Over 25k words written so far this month. The novel is taking on a life of its own, each conversation leading my characters on a path I hadn't expected. That's the true beauty of crafting a novel. You're really just the conduit. The words move through you, creating their own story. The end result is always a beautiful surprise.
It's one of the reasons I love NaNoWriMo so much. The strict word count goal forces you to write without overthinking, pushing the edits off until you have a complete first draft. It gives the story a chance to evolve without my overly analytical mind dissecting each sentence to death.
Sure, it's a challenge. 50k in a month seems like an unattainable goal, especially on that first day, when your word count sits at a pathetic 1667. 50k seems so far away then, but each day brings you closer and closer, until you find yourself on day thirteen, looking 30k right in the face. Then, the end goal doesn't seem so far away. You can begin to see it on the horizon, looming just out of your reach.
And the story! By now, your characters have personalities, dreams, goals, and habits, either good or bad. Relationships have been built or broken. Some may have even met an untimely literary end, but they all seem so real. You begin to write scenes while you're in the shower or cooking breakfast or sitting at a traffic light. The flow of words, now started, never lets up. You become that crazy person in the grocery store, talking to yourself as you work through a bit of tricky dialogue.
It's easy to lose sight of the thrill that comes with crafting a new novel. Edits and query letters can drain the fun out of writing, but you can always find it again. Just sit down and write.
It's one of the reasons I love NaNoWriMo so much. The strict word count goal forces you to write without overthinking, pushing the edits off until you have a complete first draft. It gives the story a chance to evolve without my overly analytical mind dissecting each sentence to death.
Sure, it's a challenge. 50k in a month seems like an unattainable goal, especially on that first day, when your word count sits at a pathetic 1667. 50k seems so far away then, but each day brings you closer and closer, until you find yourself on day thirteen, looking 30k right in the face. Then, the end goal doesn't seem so far away. You can begin to see it on the horizon, looming just out of your reach.
And the story! By now, your characters have personalities, dreams, goals, and habits, either good or bad. Relationships have been built or broken. Some may have even met an untimely literary end, but they all seem so real. You begin to write scenes while you're in the shower or cooking breakfast or sitting at a traffic light. The flow of words, now started, never lets up. You become that crazy person in the grocery store, talking to yourself as you work through a bit of tricky dialogue.
It's easy to lose sight of the thrill that comes with crafting a new novel. Edits and query letters can drain the fun out of writing, but you can always find it again. Just sit down and write.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Nanowrimo
Oh, November, how I love the frantic creativity you bring every year.
For those of you that are unfamiliar with it, November is National Novel Writing Month, or Nanowrimo for short. The goal is to write fifty thousand words in a month. Sounds crazy, right? It is, a little, but it's also a challenge that I can't pass up.
I work well under a deadline. The only problem is, self-imposed ones never get me anywhere. I blow them off. Nanowrimo gives me a community filled with other crazy writes that are all struggling to meet the same deadlines.
I have a good feeling about my novel this year. We're nine days into the challenge, and I've written over twenty one thousand words. I'm almost halfway there already. It's a pretty great feeling. Even better is knowing that I still have so much story percolating in my brain. I'm almost halfway through the word count goal, but my story is just getting started. I'm excited that my idea well isn't even close to dry for this novel.
I think I'm going to exceed the word goal for the first time since I started doing this competition years ago. I've "won" twice before, reaching the fifty thousand by the skin of my teeth. I think this years's going to be different. I think I might have a full rough draft by the time November 30 rolls around.
And then the edits can begin. *sigh* I'm not even done editing the first MS yet, and I'll have another one in the queue. Guess I should get back to work!
For those of you that are unfamiliar with it, November is National Novel Writing Month, or Nanowrimo for short. The goal is to write fifty thousand words in a month. Sounds crazy, right? It is, a little, but it's also a challenge that I can't pass up.
I work well under a deadline. The only problem is, self-imposed ones never get me anywhere. I blow them off. Nanowrimo gives me a community filled with other crazy writes that are all struggling to meet the same deadlines.
I have a good feeling about my novel this year. We're nine days into the challenge, and I've written over twenty one thousand words. I'm almost halfway there already. It's a pretty great feeling. Even better is knowing that I still have so much story percolating in my brain. I'm almost halfway through the word count goal, but my story is just getting started. I'm excited that my idea well isn't even close to dry for this novel.
I think I'm going to exceed the word goal for the first time since I started doing this competition years ago. I've "won" twice before, reaching the fifty thousand by the skin of my teeth. I think this years's going to be different. I think I might have a full rough draft by the time November 30 rolls around.
And then the edits can begin. *sigh* I'm not even done editing the first MS yet, and I'll have another one in the queue. Guess I should get back to work!
Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Best birthday present ever
So, I made the decision to stop entering contests or querying agents until I had polished the MS for The Farmer's Wife to a fine sheen. Everything has been going swimmingly on that front for a few weeks now. My CPs continue to be amazing, and the MS gets better with every chapter that they rip apart.
I've killed many darlings over the past weeks, and the MS reads smoother than it ever did when I was editing on my own.
And then, today, my inbox gives me the most unexpected news. An agent wants to see the full MS.
Here's the moment I had to give myself to get my heart out of my throat.
I sent two queries out right before I decided to call it quits. It's been six weeks or more. I expected to receive rejections at some point from both of them since it had been so long since I sent the requested pages.
Needless to say, the request caught me off guard.
I'm thrilled and nervous and anxious. Who knew one little sentence could throw my afternoon into such pleasant disarray?
And on a completely different, but equally exciting note, I also found out that I'll be getting my first niece next April. Great news all around. My face hurts from all the smiles.
And now, must edit furiously!
I've killed many darlings over the past weeks, and the MS reads smoother than it ever did when I was editing on my own.
And then, today, my inbox gives me the most unexpected news. An agent wants to see the full MS.
Here's the moment I had to give myself to get my heart out of my throat.
I sent two queries out right before I decided to call it quits. It's been six weeks or more. I expected to receive rejections at some point from both of them since it had been so long since I sent the requested pages.
Needless to say, the request caught me off guard.
I'm thrilled and nervous and anxious. Who knew one little sentence could throw my afternoon into such pleasant disarray?
And on a completely different, but equally exciting note, I also found out that I'll be getting my first niece next April. Great news all around. My face hurts from all the smiles.
And now, must edit furiously!
Monday, October 6, 2014
Pity Party: Table for One
So, woke up this morning feeling great. Ready to have an awesome day. By ten, both eyes are starting to feel gummy. By lunchtime, they're just really gross. And red. And as irritated as I am.
So I go see the eye doctor.
Double bacterial conjunctivitis.
Both eyes are red, a little swollen, and leaking unmentionable nastiness.
Needless to say, not much writing (or anything else) accomplished today. Also, I have to wash my hands anytime I touch my eyes to avoid spreading this plague to the husband or the child. My eyes are itching as I type this, eager to spread the contagion. *sigh* It's been an uncomfortable day.
At least I get to take the boy to the pumpkin patch tomorrow. Hooray for antibiotics and hand sanitizer.
Nanowrimo starts in less than a month, folks. Am I prepared? Not even close. Am I excited? Absolutely. Those deadlines are excellent motivation. I'm in it to win it this year.
So I go see the eye doctor.
Double bacterial conjunctivitis.
Both eyes are red, a little swollen, and leaking unmentionable nastiness.
Needless to say, not much writing (or anything else) accomplished today. Also, I have to wash my hands anytime I touch my eyes to avoid spreading this plague to the husband or the child. My eyes are itching as I type this, eager to spread the contagion. *sigh* It's been an uncomfortable day.
At least I get to take the boy to the pumpkin patch tomorrow. Hooray for antibiotics and hand sanitizer.
Nanowrimo starts in less than a month, folks. Am I prepared? Not even close. Am I excited? Absolutely. Those deadlines are excellent motivation. I'm in it to win it this year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)