A Legacy of Friendship

There's something about the combination of good food and friends that makes life seem full. Even after spending five hours cooking today, I feel content. My feet are sore, and I'm exhausted, but it's so worth it to invite friends into your home and spend an evening watching your children play together.

My oldest, best friend and I have been through so many things: first days of school, slumber parties, losses of virginity, graduations, and now motherhood. It's truly been a blessing to share so many wonderful moments of my life with her. Even simple things, like a dinner at home, can be so rich. I'm so thankful that I have friends that, even after all these years, can make me laugh so hard my cheeks hurt.

Watching our children play on my living room floor, I couldn't help but wonder if our children will cherish these early days of play together as they nurture a life-long friendship of their own. It may not happen, but I truly hope it does. I feel like the only thing that could make my friendship more whole would be to see that camaraderie passed down to my child. An inheritance of friendship would be a lovely legacy. It might not be able to buy him his dinner, but I guarantee it will leave him feeling more full.

Just write

I reached the halfway mark. Over 25k words written so far this month. The novel is taking on a life of its own, each conversation leading my characters on a path I hadn't expected. That's the true beauty of crafting a novel. You're really just the conduit. The words move through you, creating their own story. The end result is always a beautiful surprise.

It's one of the reasons I love NaNoWriMo so much. The strict word count goal forces you to write without overthinking, pushing the edits off until you have a complete first draft. It gives the story a chance to evolve without my overly analytical mind dissecting each sentence to death.

Sure, it's a challenge. 50k in a month seems like an unattainable goal, especially on that first day, when your word count sits at a pathetic 1667. 50k seems so far away then, but each day brings you closer and closer, until you find yourself on day thirteen, looking 30k right in the face. Then, the end goal doesn't seem so far away. You can begin to see it on the horizon, looming just out of your reach.

And the story! By now, your characters have personalities, dreams, goals, and habits, either good or bad. Relationships have been built or broken. Some may have even met an untimely literary end, but they all seem so real. You begin to write scenes while you're in the shower or cooking breakfast or sitting at a traffic light. The flow of words, now started, never lets up. You become that crazy person in the grocery store, talking to yourself as you work through a bit of tricky dialogue.

It's easy to lose sight of the thrill that comes with crafting a new novel. Edits and query letters can drain the fun out of writing, but you can always find it again. Just sit down and write.

Nanowrimo

Oh, November, how I love the frantic creativity you bring every year.

For those of you that are unfamiliar with it, November is National Novel Writing Month, or Nanowrimo for short. The goal is to write fifty thousand words in a month. Sounds crazy, right? It is, a little, but it's also a challenge that I can't pass up.

I work well under a deadline. The only problem is, self-imposed ones never get me anywhere. I blow them off. Nanowrimo gives me a community filled with other crazy writes that are all struggling to meet the same deadlines.

I have a good feeling about my novel this year. We're nine days into the challenge, and I've written over twenty one thousand words. I'm almost halfway there already. It's a pretty great feeling. Even better is knowing that I still have so much story percolating in my brain. I'm almost halfway through the word count goal, but my story is just getting started. I'm excited that my idea well isn't even close to dry for this novel.

I think I'm going to exceed the word goal for the first time since I started doing this competition years ago. I've "won" twice before, reaching the fifty thousand by the skin of my teeth. I think this years's going to be different. I think I might have a full rough draft by the time November 30 rolls around.

And then the edits can begin. *sigh* I'm not even done editing the first MS yet, and I'll have another one in the queue. Guess I should get back to work!

Best birthday present ever

So, I made the decision to stop entering contests or querying agents until I had polished the MS for The Farmer's Wife to a fine sheen. Everything has been going swimmingly on that front for a few weeks now.  My CPs continue to be amazing, and the MS gets better with every chapter that they rip apart.

I've killed many darlings over the past weeks, and the MS reads smoother than it ever did when I was editing on my own.

And then, today, my inbox gives me the most unexpected news. An agent wants to see the full MS.

Here's the moment I had to give myself to get my heart out of my throat.

I sent two queries out right before I decided to call it quits. It's been six weeks or more. I expected to receive rejections at some point from both of them since it had been so long since I sent the requested pages.

Needless to say, the request caught me off guard.

I'm thrilled and nervous and anxious. Who knew one little sentence could throw my afternoon into such pleasant disarray?

And on a completely different, but equally exciting note, I also found out that I'll be getting my first niece next April. Great news all around. My face hurts from all the smiles.

And now, must edit furiously!

Pity Party: Table for One

So, woke up this morning feeling great. Ready to have an awesome day.  By ten, both eyes are starting to feel gummy.  By lunchtime, they're just really gross. And red. And as irritated as I am.

So I go see the eye doctor.

Double bacterial conjunctivitis.

Both eyes are red, a little swollen, and leaking unmentionable nastiness.

Needless to say, not much writing (or anything else) accomplished today. Also, I have to wash my hands anytime I touch my eyes to avoid spreading this plague to the husband or the child.  My eyes are itching as I type this, eager to spread the contagion. *sigh*  It's been an uncomfortable day.

At least I get to take the boy to the pumpkin patch tomorrow.  Hooray for antibiotics and hand sanitizer.

Nanowrimo starts in less than a month, folks.  Am I prepared? Not even close. Am I excited? Absolutely.  Those deadlines are excellent motivation.   I'm in it to win it this year.

The New Schedule Still Needs Work

So, I have to say that I have been increasingly more productive since the little one began preschool. I did have to quit writing earlier than usual today to observe his first field trip--a walk through town to the Farmer's Market. Cutest field trip ever. Totally worth the sacrifice of precious writing time.  I'm thinking about making up for it during my mandatory staff day tomorrow.  Maybe if they see me typing furiously they'll think I'm just taking meticulous notes. It's a pretty good plan.

I've had more ideas for stories in the past two weeks than I've had in years. I credit it to some wild dreams I've been having, but also to being more observant. I have time to sit and watch people now. I see a woman with a scar on her ankle, and I create a backstory for the scar, and it evolves into a possible story idea centered around this random passerby. It's invigorating. Now, if only I could keep up with all of the ideas.

I started a google doc, and I've been dumping my random observations into it.  I'm trying to guarantee that I won't forget these snippets of story as I attempt to finish my two works in progress.

My crit partners have been amazing, by the way.  I now have two sets of fresh eyes on the MS and it has been immensely helpful.  My first two chapters have been shredded and revised, and I'm blown away by how much stronger they are. I didn't think having a crit partner was that big of a deal before, but it really can make a difference. Family doesn't count, folks. Find another writer and exchange work. Editing someone else's stuff also makes it easier to spot the mistakes in your own. Things jump out at me now that I never would have noticed before.

I've sent queries and pages to two new agents. I've decided that they will be the last I send for a while. The CP thing is going so well, that I won't send anything else out until they've read the entire MS. We're through chapter 2 at the moment. It will be a long wait, but I'll be more agent-ready. It's crazy. I wrote the first draft of this novel in 30 days. That was four years ago. I've been revising it ever since.

The Preschool Experiment

Day 2:

Actually managed to get a bit of revision done today at the library while the little one was at school. Day 1 was spent mourning the loss of the little ones with the other parents over coffee and baked goods.  Today was far more productive.  It's amazing how quickly an hour passes when you're focused on something.  I think I only added 200 or so words to the count, but my passages are less vague, my verbs stronger, and I've rearranged some scenes.  I feel like the first half of the book has really come together.

I've submitted my picks for Crit Partners, and am awaiting my match from the wonderful Lara Willard at writelarawrite.wordpress.com.  The novel I plan to send my CP will be much nearer completion, and I will be far less embarrassed about letting a stranger read it. The contests I've entered have made it much easier to accept criticism, especially since they're actually providing helpful feedback. It has been amazing.

I remain hopeful that I will be able to devote a few hours a week to writing now that preschool has entered my life.  I'm also becoming more disciplined in regard to how I spend the precious time I have to myself while little man is sleeping. As addictive as all my Kindle apps are, I've had to cut most out of my life.

Little Man is currently screaming and showing me via tantrums that it's nap time. I think I may soon get another block or writing time.  Until then, I want to share a snippet I wrote this morning that is actually inspired by a dream I had last night. A dream that involved the resurrection of ghosts that seemed real, and left the summoner unable to part with them a second time. It was intense, and I woke up with a myriad of emotions warring within my chest. I decided to write a bit down before it was forgotten.

The need is palpable, a crushing force against my chest that makes it hard to pull air into my lungs. It’s him, really him. His blonde hair is just long enough for him to tuck behind his ears. His nose has the same bump from where he caught a baseball with his face when he was five. It’s his eyes that steal the last of my labored breaths, pools of blue that threaten to swallow me completely. I’m relatively certain that I would let them take me without a fight. The corners of his mouth lift in that half-smile that always gives away his excitement when he’s trying to be serious.

It’s easy to forget he’s dead when he looks and feels so alive. He even smells the same--like fresh grass after a summer rain shower with undertones of sweat, as if he’s been cutting grass in the rain. When I bury my face in his chest, his scent wraps around me, and I inhale it as deeply as my crushed lungs will allow. I don’t even have time to mull over the fact that I don’t pass right through him, or that he feels so warm against my skin. I just savor the comfort that comes with his familiar embrace.

And then, I am kissing him. My fingers clench his hair and pull it into fists as I bring my legs up around his waist. He holds me, touch both gentle and urgent. His tongue thrusts into my mouth and I meet it with my own. He tastes like citrus and mint, fresh and powerful. I only pull my lips away when I run out of breath. They feel raw and swollen, but still hunger for another taste of him.

That smile tugs his mouth up again. “God, I’ve missed that,” he says, closing his eyes and resting his forehead against mine.

My thoughts are racing so fast that I can’t form a coherent sentence. Instead, I pull him down into another passionate kiss.

Never thought I'd be one to write a paranormal romance, but this is really leaning that way. Will be interesting to see where it takes me.

Back Into the Fray

Remember how I entered those contest and lost? Well, after a month or so of edits and wound-licking, my skin is thicker and the MS is stronger. I've actually started a second novel *gasp* and have left the first alone for a few weeks now.

I entered a wonderful Critique Partner mixer, and hope to land one or two great CP's to help me polish that first MS. It needs new sets of eyes on it. Ones that aren't so attached to every word.

I've also discovered Get off my lawn con. It's a wonderful new online forum for writer's of adult fiction. Query advice, pitch tips, contest links, and just about everything else an aspiring writer could hope for. It's run by one of the amazing minds behind QueryKombat, and I look forward to wasting away many hours staring at the various forum threads.

In the meantime, I'm trying to get more serious about writing. I even tried giving myself a daily word count goal. It didn't work. Too many distractions. I can find a million reasons to be sitting anywhere other than in front of my computer. The biggest one just turned three years old and always wants to build pillow forts and play hide and seek. I tried getting up early to write before he wakes up, but most of what I put on the page that early in the morning is rubbish. I've tried waiting for him to fall asleep before I begin to write, but the call of my bed is too strong, and I usually only last for thirty minutes before climbing beneath the covers.

The big distraction starts preschool in two short weeks. The mommy in me cries every day because she will lose him for six hours every week. The writer in me is dancing, eager to put each of those hours to work.  Using Netflix movies as "research" counts as work, right?

The Mighty Procrastinator

We've all heard the lamentations of the distractions technology can pose. The internet is an amazing thing, and an invaluable tool...most of the time.

Each time I finally find a few minutes to sit down at my computer to write, the internet calls to me. So far, I haven't managed to resist a single time.  Take this blog post, for instance. I'm trying to beef up the MS, yet again, when I realize I haven't posted to this blog in more than two weeks. Better write something up before I forget, right? There's no better time than the present.

And then there's Facebook and Twitter and Reddit. So many wonderful ways to waste away my precious writing time.

I must learn to be strong in the face of temptation. I'd disable my wifi while I was writing, but then I'd have to lug out my thesaurus and do my writing research via old newspapers. Actually, research that way would require a trip up to West Carthage to look at local maps. Ain't nobody got time for that. The internet must stay on. I just have to learn to turn a deaf ear to its call.

It's just so much more fun to browse Reddit than it is to stare at this MS.

Write!

At some point, I will be forced to leave my first MS alone. That day is not today. The edits continue, and I feel my story grows stronger every time I take a virtual pen to it. Many days I find that I don't even want to look at it anymore, but I'm muddling through. I'm too stubborn to abandon it.

New ideas are screaming to be written down. Some have found their way into notebooks, others onto scraps of paper. A snippet of a story is currently stuck to the side of my fridge, where I jotted it down on my grocery list pad while I was cooking. I'm determined that each of them will one day get the same attention that I give this MS. Is it a sign of strong resolve or that I'm overly obsessive? I can't really say.

One thing I can be certain of, is the importance of always having paper close at hand. I find myself jotting down ideas everywhere. The world is filled with moments that deserve to be captured. The trick is discovering the words that give those moments the best tribute. Some days those words come more freely than others.

It's all about the edits

The word count has surpassed the 60K mark! In fact, I'm over 62k. It's still not even close to being as long as it should be, but it's beefing up quite nicely. I've read this thing so many times, that I don't know if I'm even capable of catching mistakes as I go. It may be time to set it aside for a bit.

I've got a few new story ideas that I'm very excited about. I've been so wrapped up in the Farmer MS that I let it leech all of the creative juices from new projects. I think it's time to let them loose.

I think I'm also going to give myself a daily word count goal. Goals are a good thing, and I need to learn to push them on myself. A daily word count makes me accountable for something. I think I need a little kick to keep me in gear, and I'm hoping this is a step in the right direction. I need to treat this more like a job and less like a hobby. Success is not a passive endeavor. It has to be fought for. My armor is shined and ready. Let's do this.

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I was vanquished in my last QueryKombat round, which means I won't be advancing to round 3.  This contest elimination has the brightest silver lining ever.  Once you're knocked out of the Kombat, the agent requests for your MS are revealed.  What did this mean for me? A lovely lady at the Jane Rotrosen Agency has requested the first 30 pages. She liked the query and first 250 words enough that she wants to read more.

I sent her an email on Wednesday. I've been making furious edits to the remainder of the MS in the meantime. It needs to be pristine if she requests to see the full after reading those 30 pages. My inbox is now a source of endless torment. Every email could be her response. I think I'm more anxious right now than I was at any stage of the contests.

Jane Rotrosen represents some really big names in Women's Fiction, including one of my favorite authors, Sarah Addison Allen. Getting a full MS request from them would be huge. A rejection will certainly sting, but I'm trying to stay positive. It's been an emotional roller coaster for me, and it's only been two days.

Ooh, what's that? A new email? (Spoiler: It was a 'magical cure for cradle cap.') Maybe hers will be the next one.

Gracious Defeat

Amazon posted the semi-finalists for the ABNA contest. I'm not shocked that I'm not on this list. My Publisher's Weekly review wasn't terrible, but it wasn't great either.  Was I sad to see my name wasn't on the list? Yes. Surprised? Not at all. A lukewarm review won't get you far.

Round Two of QueryKombat begins tomorrow. I'm excited to see the feedback I receive on the revisions. I'm hoping they are for the better.  The judges of the first round gave such pointed criticism, so I think I took my revisions in the right direction. I guess we'll see tomorrow.

I'm actively changing the MS, even while the contests are underway.  I finally gave full copies to a few beta readers.  They have also already offered some very valuable feedback.  I feel like my novel improves every day, and I'm excited to be writing again.  That is probably the greatest reward I've received from these contests.  I have also learned a lesson that I wish I had known earlier in the game. Don't sit on your MS. Share it.  The more readers you have, the more mistakes and plot holes are found before an agent ever sees it. I believe I will present a much more polished novel when I query agents now. My confidence in the MS, and my writing in general, is rising. It feels good.

My first rejection letter

So, it may have been a rejection email, but it still counts.  Received a reply from an agent today that she was passing on the MS.  Word count is too low.  It's not something I haven't heard before.  It looks like I really need to take a look at it, and add some additional scenes, or a sub-plot, to beef up the word count.

I'm surprised that the rejection didn't sting.  Perhaps it was because the agent let me down gently.  Maybe, deep down, I know it still needs work.  I think the criticism I've received from Query Kombat helped open my eyes to some of the MS's weaknesses.

This just mean I need to work harder and whip this thing into shape before I send out any additional queries. I'm so ready to do this.

No take backs!

So, the good news is I made it to Round Two of Querykombat. Still waiting for June 13 to know, for certain, that I'm out of the Amazon contest. Pretty sure that one's a lost cause at this point.

Querykombat allows revisions after round one, which Amazon does not. With the amazing feedback I received from the judges, I've made more than a few changes in my entry. I'm hoping it's more of a clencher. Here it is, for those that want to take a look. Also, it's been brought to my attention that I made need some beta readers, as my word count is on the very low side. I need to beef this puppy up. If there are any takers, let me know! I'm just shy of 60k at this point. Like I said, lower than low.

Soon, I'll have some agents reading this, and maybe even snag a MS request. Cross your fingers for me!

Query:

Jody Sinclair’s grandparents, Samuel and Lillian, have spent their entire married life in the farmhouse her grandfather built by hand. When the house goes up in flames, Lillian barely escapes with her life.  Samuel is not as lucky. Fire crews attempt to control the blaze, leaving Lillian with nothing to do but watch as she loses everything she’s ever cherished.

Jody arrives at the house just after the first fire truck and offers Lillian both comfort and her spare bedroom. In the days following Samuel’s death, Jody struggles to help her grandmother return to a sense of normalcy. Together, they sift through what the fire left behind.  They unearth more than Jody ever expected.  When Jody discovers that Lillian intentionally set the house ablaze, she must decide whether she will seek justice for her recently deceased grandfather, or let the truth die with him.

First 250:

When the phone rings during the opening credits of Doctor Who, I consider letting it go to voicemail.  With a silent prayer of gratitude for the ability to pause streaming video, I jump up to grab it on the third ring.

“Hello?”

“Jody?” I don’t recognize the voice.  I can hear the caller gasp for breath, and worry that this is about to turn into some weird prank.

“Who is this?” I ask, my words sharp, prepared to hang up if the panting continues.

“It’s Gram.” Another deep breath, followed by a sob this time.

“Gram?” I ask, confused.  Gram never calls after five or six. She’s usually asleep by eight.  I glance at the clock on my stove. It’s nearly eleven. She sobs again, and my heart drops down to my ankles. “Gram, what’s wrong? Where are you?”

“I’m at Bonnie’s. Can you please come pick me up?” Her voice is raw and strained.

“Gram, what’s wrong?” I ask again. Emphasizing each word as I spit it out of my mouth.  I hear her take in a sharp breath before she answers.

“It’s the house. It’s burning.”

I sit down. Hard. My breath leaves me in a rush. “Are you okay? Where’s Gramps?”

She takes a few more deep breaths, though I can’t tell whether she’s trying to calm herself down or avoid answering the questions.

“I’m fine.” She answers, sounding anything but.

“And Gramps?” The pause is even longer this time.

“He’s still in the house.”

There's nothing like constructive criticism

I entered Amazon's ABNA contest to get my MS out there and, hopefully, get some feedback from a professional.  Well, I did well enough to get the review, but it wasn't as helpful as I expected. It actually gave me very little to work with.  So, I entered a second contest. Query Kombat. I already raved about how excited I was to be chosen.

(Here's the link to my battle royale.)
http://writersoutworld.blogspot.com/2014/06/qk-round-1-burning-down-house-vs.html

The entries went live today.  I have to admit, I would totally read the book that I'm up against. I love the premise for it.  It made me nervous.  I'm still hanging in there, though.  Two judges have weighed in so far, and we're tied, 1:1.

At this point, I'm not really concerned about making it to the next round.  Each comment I've received in this little battle has been infinitely more helpful that the professional review.  I have so much to think about. I am so excited that this community is so active, and that each reader has taken the time to give such good pointers.  If I do make it to the next round, I get the chance to edit things before the next judges see it. I'll have a lot of work to do.

I'm happy to say, that I'm looking forward to it.

In It to Win It

So, the power cord to my Chromebook mysteriously broke in two.  I'm sure I know where fault lies for this lovely inconvenience, but the culprit is too damned cute for me to be angry with him.  After a failed attempt to replace it with a universal plug, I had to go to Best Buy to exchange the $50 cord for the $85 HP cord.  I'm happy that the new one works, but a bit bitter that it was so expensive to replace.

I found out today that my query and first 250 of the MS have made the cut to be a contender in this year's Query Kombat.  I swear, it's a thing.  The top 32 queries get read by agents. Real agents.  I haven't made it that far yet. I'm in the first round of 64 kombatants though. Happy I made the cut and am in the running to be seen by an agent.  Voting starts on Sunday.  I'm nervous, and can't wait to see if I get any helpful feedback.

So, fingers crossed, yet again.  Maybe all of these contest eliminations will help thicken my skin.  Then, maybe, the rejections won't hurt so much when I begin querying in earnest.

Back in the Saddle

So, I signed up for an online writing course.  I'm hoping the weekly assignments get some creativity running through my tired brain. So far, I have snippets of short stories, but nothing truly promising.  The important thing is, I'm writing.  True, it's not very good, but it's more than a blank page, which is all I'm asking for at this point.

I've been looking into writing conferences, and feel like I am drowning under the weight of so many expensive options.  Who knew they would charge writers (who are notoriously broke, by the way) so much money for a week devoted to their craft.  I get that editors and agents need to be compensated for their time, but I don't have a thousand dollars laying around to spend on the possibility that I might write something of any worth.  It is only a week after all.  Can a group of strangers really give enough valuable feedback in a week to help me hone my craft?  A small part of me also worries that I will pay all of that money just to find out that my writing will never make the cut.  Time to put on my big girl panties and go for it, right? (Thanks for hanging in for my little pep talk.)

I think that if I want to stick with this writing thing, which I love, that I need to get real.  I need to make time to devote to writing.  I need to stop waiting for opportunity to come to me.  Time to go out there and grab the resources available to those who actually look for them.  I begins with this free online course. I hope to register for at least a writer's workshop, if not a full-fledged conference by this fall.  Fingers, get ready to pinch some pennies.

Let's Just Dust This Off

So, I managed to get my stuff together and enter Amazon's ABNA Contest this year.  Miracle of miracles, I made it to the quarter final round.  What does that get me, exactly? It might not seem like much, but it landed me my first professional review of the completed MS. Yes, I let someone else read the whole thing.  A someone from Publisher's Weekly, no less. My review was lukewarm.  It looks like the MS still needs some polishing.  Apparently, it lacks resolution.  I'm going to let it sit for at least a month before I decide exactly how to tackle that obstacle.

In the meantime, I have to muster up the resolve to write something new.  I have to admit, I'm feeling a bit discouraged.  Apparently, blah reviews have an uncanny ability to drain all creative energy from your brain.  Who knew?

It explains the resurrection of this blog though.

My new mantra is: I will find time to write.  I won't lose focus, even with the king of distraction running about the house.  I just have to decide which hours to claim for myself.  Realistically, it can only happen while he's asleep.  He already gets up as soon as there's a hint of sunlight peeking through the window, so I'm pretty sure there are a lot of long nights in my future.  Here's hoping they turn out to be productive.